Kuki abasore bamwe bahitamwo gukundana n’abagore babaruta cane

Cokimwe no mu bihe vyaheze, muri iki gihe haribonekeza ikibazo c’abasore bakiri bato bakundana n’abagore bakuze, ndetse rimwe na rimwe banabavyaye. Ivyo bishigikirwa na bake, ariko n’ababikora hari ico bavyibazako.

Aha wokwibaza uti "Mbega ni iki cotuma umusore akundana n’umugore amuruta cane? Inyungu irimwo ni iyihe?" Nivyo tugira dushimikireko hano, twifashishije ivyo twabwiwe n’ababikora.

Abasore baganiriye na IGIHE, barashoboye kumenyesha ko hari impamvu nke ariko zumvikana, zituma bikundanira n’abagore bakuze, mu gihe baba bafise amahirwe imbere y’inkumi bari mu runganwe. Zimwe mu mpamvu batubwiye harimwo:

1. Abagore ntibiyumanganya

Ubundi kimwe mu bibazo abasore bakunze kugira, ni ukutamenya ico umukobwa yiyumvira. Umukobwa ashobora kuba agukunda bimwe bihebuje, yamara ntabikubwire. Uretse ko hari uburyo wokoresha ukamenya nimba umukobwa akwemera (tuzobigarukako mu yindi nkuru), ubwo buryo ntiwobwizera kuko ushobora kugira ngo arakwemera wagerayo ukahahurira n’imbwa ihetse indobo.

Ikibazo co kutamenya ico umukobwa yiyumvira canke uko kwiyumanganya, ntivyibonekeza ku bagore bakuze, kuko iyo akunze umusore arabimubwira ataguca ku ruhande. Ibi birorohereza cane umuhungu kuko nta nguvu nyinshi bimusaba, ngo abanze yibaze ati “Harya ninamubwira ngo nzoje kumuramutsa ntazohava avyanka?" Iki kibazo ntikibaho kuko uwo mugore niwe ukubwira uje kumuraba, niwe akwereka aho muja, eka ni nawe akwereka ico ukora.

Umwe muri abo basore ati "iyo uri kumwe n’umukobwa, hari uburyo yifata ashaka kukwereka ko yoba ari isugi canke ko atakintu na kimwe azi. Musore, ibi nta mugore avyigirisha kuko we aba afise uburambe ico bita experience kandi nta masoni aba acigirisha, ahubwo ugasanga aranakwigishije na bishasha utari uzi.”

2. Agufasha muri vyinshi

Ikindi abasore batinya, ni ugukurwa amenyo, aho abakobwa babaka amafaranga ntibabasigire n’urwara rwo kwiyagaza.Naho abasore benshi bavyitwaza, ico kibazo kibaho kandi iyo umusore akundanye n’umugore ntaho yigera ahurira naco.

Umusore akundana n’umugore akuze ntakibazo c’ubukene agira kuko akenshi uwo mugore aba yifise, ugasanga ahubwo niwe amwitayeho (sugar mumy).

Hari uburorero bwinshi bw’abasore bakundana n’abagore bakuze ugasanga barahakiriye gose, bakagurirwa impuzu, bakarihirwa amashuri, amamodoka y’ibitonore bakayahabwa bagakungahara.

3. Nta kindi aba akuzigako

Iyo ukundanye n’umukobwa hari igihe adindiza ibintu akaba ashobora no kuzana ivyo kubana kandi umuhungu atavyiteguriye. Ivyo ntibiba ku bagore bakuze, kuko nta kindi aba agushakako. Ikindi ni uko bamwe baba baraciye, batakivyara (bari muri menopause) ku buryo atabwoba bwo gutera inda buba buhari, kandi hari abaziterwa bakazivyara atangorane kuko n’ubundi baba basanzwe ari abagore.

Impamvu ni nyinshi pe! Hari n’abandi batubwiriye mu migani, ngo inkono ishaje niyo iryoshya imboga, n’ibindi tutumvise neza.

Inyuma yo kuvuga bimwe mu vyo abo basore batubwiye bakura mu mubano wabo n’abo bagore, ntitworangiza tutavuze ku ngaruka mbi zibamwo, ubona ko nazo nyene zirenze urugero. Gusa turakoresha ibibazo umusore ari mu migenderanire nk’iyo akwiye kwibaza:

 Burya uzirinde gukora ikintu wumva ko abandi batogukorera: nimba uri umusore w’imyaka 21 ukaba ukundana n’umugore w’imyaka 35 canke irenze, urumva uramutse ufise uwawe agakundana n’agasore wobifata ute? Mbega nimba atamugabo afise, ariko akaba afite abana mungana, urumva umuvyeyi wawe we akundanye n’umusore mungana wobifata ute? Ubwo ugira ngo uwo mugore we yokwemera ko umwana wiwe akundana n’umuntu amuruta? Uzomubaze ico kibazo wumve ico agusubiza.

 Nimba atamama wawe ufise, wumva iyo aba akiriho wari kwishimira ko akundana n’umusore mugenzi wawe? Wari kubifata ute?

 Ubundi iyo umuntu akora igikorwa cose haba hari impamvu. Impamvu wokundana n’umuntu akuruta ni iyihe? Ubwo irumvikana? Vyoba bikumarira iki mu kwubaka ubuzima bwawe? (wosanga gihari…)

 Muri ivyo wahabwa n’uwo mugore, hari na kimwe kiruta ubuzima bwawe? Hari urukingo rwa SIDA rurimwo? Canke ahubwo harimwo akaga?

 Niwahora ukora ibintu wiherereye uzohore wibaza uti “Mbega ibi nkoze novyemanga?” Mbega koko urwo rukundo rw’ibanga ushobora kurwigamba nk’igikorwa ciza imbere y’abazogukomokako, canke wumva wiyagiriza ku mutima?

Ng’ivyo bimwe mu bibazo umusore akundana n’umugore amuruta yokwibaza. Inyishu iri ku mutima w’umwe wese. Ushobora no kuyandika munsi y’iyi nkuru mu burenganzira bwawe bubereye!