Umukenyezi afise uruhara uruhe mu muryango ?

Umukenyezi n’uwo yaremanywe igitereko. Umupfasoni ashobora kurera ibibondo, akitaho urugo n’umuryango, yaba uwo mu gisagara canke uwo hagati mu gihugu. Ariko, igikunze kubatatandukanya n’inyifato n’imigenzo bagenderamwo.

Nta tandukanirizo ryari rikwiye kuba ku mukenyezi wo mu gisagara n’uwo hagati mu gihugu, kuko uruhara rwabo mu muryango ari rumwe. Ariko, ibihe vyagiye bitandukanya inyifato z’abakenyezi bivanye kandi naho baba. Akarorero, abakenyezi baho bambere, bo mu kinjana ca 19, ntibifata nk’abakenyezi bo muri kino kinjana turimwo ca 21 haba kunyifato, haba mu kwiyumvira canke kunyambaro. Abubu, barashaka kwitiranya uruhara rw’umugabo n’urwumukenyezi. Hari bimwe bimwe bikorwa n’abakenyezi b’ubu, bitakora abakenyezi bo hambere, aho twovuga nko kwamabara amapantaro, gukara, kuduza ijwi hejuru imbere y’umunega, n’ibindi.

Uruhara rw’umukenyezi rwari rukwiye kuba rumwe k’umukenyezi wese wo kw’isi ataravye ngo ava mu gihugu iki canke kiriya. Uruhara rw’umukenyezi si ukuvyara gusa, ariko ahanini ni akamaro agirira umuryango. Muti none uruhara rwiwe rwoba uruhe mu muryango? Umukenyezi muri kamere kiwe, yarakwiye kuba umuntu yumviriza no gutahura abandi. Hari ibihugu bitari bike kw’isi, usanga agateka k’umukenyezi gahonyangwa ntashobore no kugira ijambo mu rugo. Iyo batagira rero ijambo mu rugo, ntibaheza ngo babe mu kibanza cabo. Ariko iyo borohewe mu ngo zabo, usanga izo ngo zitekanye, hagaragara ubuzima kurusha mbere yaba hari umugabo.

Hari agacamugani kavuga ngo :« Iyo weretse ko ukunda umugore wawe, akuzanira ijuru mu rugo. Iyo umucinyije naho, ukamwaka agateka kiwe, akuzanira umuriro udahera mu rugo rwawe». Umukenyezi rero kugira ashobore gukora ivyajejwe mu rugo, ni ukwo agateka kiwe kaba kubahirijwe. Umukenyezi nk’uwo, mu ruhara rwiwe, n’ukuba umugore, kuba uwuvyara akaba na nyina w’ibibondo. Muruhara rwiwe, ategerezwa kuba ari umuntu yitaho urugo n’ibibondo. Ivyo navyo bikaba bitaraba igihugu avamwo canke imico yoba yakuriyemwo.

Aho hambere, uruhara rw’umukenyezi kwari ukuvyara, kurera abana, kwitaho umugabo no kuraba udukorwa two mu rugo gusa. Ariko ubu, ikirengeye kuri ivyo vyose, abubu, barifatanya n’abandi, bakaja mu mashirahamwe y’iterambere abungura ubwenge, ari nabwo butuma n’umuryango utera imbere gusumba.

Ikibabaje, nuko abagabo benshi badatahura abagore babo igihe bagiye mu mashirahamwe kuko bibaza ko igihe boja muri ayo mashirahamwe yungura ubwenge, bazohava babaganza, mu kwanka kuganzwa, mu gihe vyari kugirira ikimazi umuryango mu gihe umukenyezi yunguye ubumenyi, kuko azoca ashobora gukemura ibibazo vy’urugo. Ikindi naco, uruhara rw’umukenyezi mu muryango, ni ukugarukana amahoro n’umutekano mu gihe hadutse urwanko mu muryango kuko muribo, basanzwe bafise urukundo ndemanwa.

Umukenyezi n’isoko ry’iterambere n’ubuzima mu muryango. Hari abatavyifatamwo neza, hakubera umugisha umuryango, bawubera ingorane. Ukwo kuba ingorane y’umuryango, n’ukwo kwirengangiza ivyo wategerezwa gukora, no kwibagira uruhara rwawe. Ahanini, uruhara rw’umukenyezi mu muryango ruhagaze ku kungene aba yifata mu rugo. Ikiranga umukenyezi yipfuzwa mu muryango, ni ukuba incabwenge yuzuye ubwitonzi no kwitaho umuryango impande zose. Nakare ngo, « umukenyezi mwiza, aragwa umuryango».